ADHD Perfectionism in Action and My New Video Series
If you have ADHD, I’m willing to bet you’ve looked at your life—the doom piles of laundry, the fifty unfinished projects, the emails you haven't replied to—and thought: "Me? A perfectionist? Absolutely not."
We tend to think of perfectionists as people with color-coded calendars and immaculate homes. We, on the other hand, often feel like we’re barely holding it together. So, we label ourselves "procrastinators," "messy," or just plain "lazy."
But here is the biggest "Aha!" moment I’ve had as an ADHD Coach: For many of us, procrastination is simply perfectionism in disguise.
Introducing My Video Series: Coffee and Clarity
Welcome to the very first video of Coffee & Clarity, a new series where we slow down the chaos to chat about the messy reality of ADHD—all while brewing a fresh cup of coffee, combining my two passions.
In the first video, I talk about the irony that it took me forever to create this episode ... about perfectionism.
The "Perfectly Ready" Trap
Research shows that perfectionism is actually the most frequently reported cognitive distortion for adults with ADHD. But we don't always recognize it because it doesn't look like striving for excellence; it looks like paralysis.
It comes down to a deep need to feel "perfectly ready" before we engage in a task. If we don't feel that readiness, we don't start. This usually shows up in two specific traps.
1. Outcome Perfectionism: The "Standing Ovation" Trap
This is where we prejudge the result before we’ve even taken a single step. We want to hit a home run every single time, and anything less than that feels like a total failure.
When I was trying to film my first video, I became obsessed with the vision. I wanted it to be cinematic, viral, and profound on the first try. I wanted to skip the messy learning phase and go straight to the standing ovation. Because I couldn't guarantee a "perfect" outcome, my brain slammed on the brakes.
2. Process Perfectionism: The "Right Way" Trap
This is "all-or-nothing" thinking applied to how you do things. It’s the belief that there is one single, linear, "right way" to complete a task.
It’s believing you can’t load the dishwasher unless you do it exactly right.
It’s thinking you have to read a book from page one, so you never skip to chapter four (even if that’s the only part you need).
For me, I convinced myself I needed the best camera, professional lighting, and a flawless script before I could hit record. That rigid list of prerequisites made starting feel impossible.
The Brick Wall Illusion
When these traps trigger our intense ADHD emotions, the task in front of us feels like a solid brick wall. It feels physically impossible to push through. We don't even think to challenge the feeling; we just assume the wall is real.
But here is the secret: That brick wall is a lie. It is actually just a thin veil disguised as a wall.
The only way to walk through it is to embrace a messy truth: Done is better than perfect. Perfection is an illusion that doesn't exist in the physical world, but excellence is actually reachable.
How to Break Through
If you are stuck right now, stop trying to build the perfect plan. Instead, identify the minimum mandatory step. Not the "right" step. Just the smallest, easiest action you can take. Poke the wall. You will be surprised how easily you breeze right through it.
Ready for a Chat?
If you feel that a dedicated, supportive partnership is what you need to finally gain traction on your goals, I invite you to learn more.
Let's explore how coaching can help you navigate your life with greater ease and confidence. You can book a complimentary, no-obligation discovery call with me to discuss your unique situation and see if we're a good fit.